At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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