i permit you to call me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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