I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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