You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
