Who did Billy Mays play for?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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