Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize