I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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