wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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