dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
