For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
