Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
