Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
