I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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