Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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