Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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