U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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