Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
