1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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