Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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