stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
