Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
