can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
