Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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