i already hear my dad disowning me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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