dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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