dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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