you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.