Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.