I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.