I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
