shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize