is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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