well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
