I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
