I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize