ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v