we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize