Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dude. I can hear the air.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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