i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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