yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
