I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
