If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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