after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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