He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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