the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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