I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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