I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
