My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
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that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Text me some of your sweat
And then he peed in my hair
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