She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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