North Korea, Best Korea!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize