you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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