and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
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I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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