All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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