Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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