i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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