The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
