no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize