There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
