so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
