just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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