so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
