Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Text me some of your sweat
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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