that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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