As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize