jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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